Weekly News Digest

1. Detective finds stolen gun in toilet by accident. The link. When the detective interrupted his interview to use the loo, he couldn't get the stinkin' toilet to work. Using his detecting skills, he discovered a stolen gun in the tank. See, it's not just on tv detectives who use the "bathroom" excuse in order to detect.


2. Man spends days unnoticed in PA attic. The link. Dude hid in the attic and made himself at home each time the family went out, "borrowing" computer, ipod, clothes, food etc. Eventually, foot tracks in the carpet ratted him out. (the lady must vacuum like mom so she can see footprints afterwards) What I don't understand: he stole Stanley's Christmas list. Who would do such a thing to Stanley?


3. NYC man sells bubbly calendars. The link. A calendar made out of bubble wrap so you can pop one bubble each day. A-huh. Like you're not gonna pop the whole thing on January 1.


4. UFO hits wind turbine. The link. What's unique about this UFO story is that we've captured a photo of an alien at last! Check out the news story, scroll down to the photo of "Lesley Whittingham" (wink,wink) and compare this photo to the traditional "alien" photo next to it. I'd say our "artist's rendition" of what an alien would look like is pretty accurate.

5. Pelicans fall out of sky from Mexico to Oregon. The link. Seems there's a bunch of disoriented, weak pelicans demonstrating odd behaviour, "suffering from a mysterious malady." My favorite quote: "Many of the birds also have swollen feet." Zoiks! Me, too! Me, too, I have swollen feet! Maybe I got the Pelican Malady. Maybe I'm going to start acting disoriented, crashing into cars and sitting in parking lot corners with a stunned expression on my face.