Weekly News Digest V

1. Toilet fumes force Flybe emergency landing. The link. How embarrassing. This is the kind of thing that usually happens at our family reunions. My favorite quote: "All five donned gasmasks." (referring to the cabin crew)

2. Husbands who kill wives can no longer claim they were provoked. The link. My favorite quote: "Around 100 men a year kill their former or current partners, and provocation - such as failing to cook a meal, or persistent nagging - is the main form of defence used by barristers." Failing to cook a meal or persistent nagging?? That's all it takes to send a man over the edge? I've seen men survive some really tough, dangerous and often stupid situations, yet they can't handle cooking their own meal or someone saying something repeatedly 50 times in a whiny voice?

3. Woman runs sword into foot during Wiccan ceremony. The link. Here's the irony: It was a good luck ceremony.

4. Pantyhose Bandit causes sheer annoyance in Mass. The link. Pantyhose keeps getting left near a bus stop in a certain neighborhood. My favorite quote: "The pantyhose — sometimes new, sometimes used — has been left on Camp Street for more than two years. They're almost always black and queen sized. " Well. That certainly narrows it down.

5. Suspected theives run out of gas at goodwill store. The link. They were stealing a recliner in the back of their pickup and didn't even make it out of the parking lot. I'm kind of feeling sorry for these guys. Go ahead and give 'em the recliner. Every redneck needs an old recliner in the back of his truck. Marj.... that gives me some ideas. . .